BHouse

We're coming, Jae!

2009-08-12T17:03:00.000-07:00

Get your towels ready. It's about to go down.

Alan and I were almost in bed (finally) on Monday night when we received a disturbing phone call. Jae, scheduled to leave from JFK airport early the next day, was stranded on a train! Apparently, everything was on fire. That's what I understood, at least. He asked if there were non-train modes of transportation between Stamford and NYC.

There was one. Alan and I immediately threw on our clothes, rechristened my car the Bromobile, and dashed out the door. We then reverse dashed back up the stairs and told Ben we were leaving. Bye, Ben! Despite my chronic sleep-deprivation, we flew down 95. Less then 10 minutes away from the Stamford train station, however, Jae called an abort. Apparently, everything was no longer on fire. Alan and I pulled over to mourn the irreversable dispersion of the 3rd floor denizins (Alan's next to go o_O). Hopefully, the gesture was appreciated regardless. After composing ourselves, we decided to go crash my mom's place near NYC.

I had to call her about 7 times to wake her up first. We pulled into her apartement building at about 3am, only to learn that she had ventured out to try to find milk. She's nuts! After enduring her incoherent ramblings (love ya, mum!) for about an hour, Alan and I finally got some sleep. In air conditioning! Yum!

We then woke up and went skydiving. (*ahem*check my facebook for pics*ahem*). Because we don't spend enough time together, we had decided to go on a bonding trip. The highlight of the preperatory events centered on Alan running around the airport's runway like a plane and then getting almost run over by a Cessna (an actual plane). There's something a bit overwhelming about finding yourself 10,000ft above the ground and moving very quickly. Neither of us went splat, so I declare maximal misson success. ^_^

We've Got Cabin Fever

2009-08-11T20:21:00.000-07:00

Team, it's hot. It's really really hot. It was soooo hot last night, I went to Joe's mom's apartment to cool down.

Scene:

"Alan, don't make me eat it. I don't want to eat it anymore." Paul looked pitifully into my eyes, begging me to end him there. I patted his head. "Be strong, like Dumbledore. I knew you would say this, you told me so. But you have to keep on eating." Paul nodded weakly, and continued to shovel the cookie dough from Ben's bowl into his gaping maw.

With a burst of bassoon music in the background, which is quickly identified as "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" Ben comes in, carry a plate of cookies in each hand. He is a man possessed, and the cookies overflow the table onto the floor. Paul groans.

"GET OFF MY PHONE! GET OFF MY PHONE! I'M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND TODAY!!!" Joe throws his phone out the window, hitting in the head the thief who stole Paul's bike and is currently sawing through my bicycle chain lock.

Finally, the heat got to me. I collapsed to the floor. "Water, I need water." Paul, scorching the sky with the fire from his wand, fully recovered from his sugar coma, stepped up. Reaching up, I gulped at the water from the sky.

BHOUSE is at half strength. Our mighty eight is reduced to 4. Yet morale is high... but we could just be delirious. No, no. We are delirious. We have Cabin Fever.

I do not know when I will be able to write again. If I am not heard from again, I wish you all well. Good night, and good luck.

The Best Evening in the World

2009-08-11T19:04:00.000-07:00

So, it's been a while, folks. I just haven't been in the mood. You know, headaches and the whatnot. But now I will recount to you an epic, glorious evening.

It started with Tai Chi. I was exhausted, but went to Friday practice anyway. It was excellent, but upon it's conclusion I returned home. I was prepared to subsist on my usual diet of soup, but I had something different in mind. I was going to branch out. I went upstairs to change...and passed out.

When I came to, it was 9:30. 3 hour nap on a Friday night. Glorious. And then I cooked.

What did I cook, do you ask? Allow me to show you.
First I cut my veggies and fungi.

Then I sauteed them.
Then I cooked me some bacon. Wait, did I mention it's Smart Bacon? That's right, it's smart. And vegetarian.

A meal. An honest to god meal. This was such a great day.

Belated goodbye

2009-08-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

Yo BHouse.
It's been a whole week since I left. I wonder if y'all noticed? :-)
Anyway, I'm chilling out in Baltimore now. My new place is starting to come together, and it's pretty much the exact opposite of BHouse. Where BHouse was filthy, this house is immaculate. Where BHouse was full of grossness, this one is gorgeous. Where BHouse was lively and full of people, this one is quiet and empty. The kitchen is big, and well stocked. Instead of surly and smelly stray cats, we have a nice house cat named Star who likes to keep me company when I'm reading, or waiting for the police. But it's a classy place. My room is starting to look really nice-- I have an antique brass bed and a hundred year old chandelier. I'm now only short a desk and a mattress (to replace the air mattress I've been using).
I'll be back up there next weeknd-- I need to collect the rest of my stuff. Hopefully I'll see some of you there? And if not, I may just sleep in your bed, because that's the true BHouse way.
Love from the Charm City,
Katie

Science Under the Influence of Fun

2009-08-07T15:27:00.000-07:00

7:13pm
After 13 hours of data collection and 25 total at the synchrotron, I got 4 hours of sleep this afternoon. As I woke up and prepared to resume the madness, I realized that his post has lost all coherence. Dammit.

8:32am

In my sleep-deprived delirium, I just decided that it would be a good idea to go into the hutch to manually realign the ruby system (my sample was a bit out of focus). This idea was akin to deciding to spontaneously perform open heart surgery with a hammer. Good thing grad student Joe is quite competent. I may get to work the midnight shift again tonight. I can't wait. Yay for sleeping during the day!

3:20am

Kanani (confused about our temperature measurements): "How hot is the cell?"
Joe (touches 250C metal housing): "hot. really hot"
(Joe catches on fire. Pointer finger burns for hours.)

1:36am

Alright, so we arrived at the synchrotron at 9am. We then spent 12 FREAKING HOURS aligning and calibrating various equipment on the beamline. Seriously, I can't believe I was messing with electronics for that long. Now, I'm finally starting my experiment. Initial results are quite good, although it's going to be a long slog. Grad student Joe returns at about 4am, after which I will work another 6 hour shift and then die. Hopefully, while I'm dead, I'll find some AA batteries for my camera so that I can upload some siiick pics.

Edit:

Hey, world. Part of my experiment has a webcam, woah. Point the internet at http://www.hpcat.ciw.edu/webcams and click on BM-D to view the madness. (It's a shot of the interior of the x-ray hutch, where you can see my cell and some associated electronics that we have spent the last 8 hours configuring). Who's going to be up all night collecting data? This guy.

Friends, I'm losing my grip on consciousness. What else is there to do besides write about science? If this post bores you, just scroll down and stare at me in a bra. And then finish reading, m'kay?

And then, GET OFF MY PHONE!

Anywho, as week 12 of my 10 week fellowship draws to a close, the madness is just beginning. I rolled into lab at 3:40am today to catch an early flight to Chicago. Now, I'm chillin in the Argonne National Laboratory guest house, where I'll live for the weekend when I'm not in the Advanced Photon Source conducting x-ray diffraction studies to determine the melting temperature of potassium at high pressures. Grand fun! I miss BHouse...

Of course, I didn't escape the Have without a requisite dose of epic. Last night, I had an amazing time watching DCI Quarterfinals - all 5 hours of amazing performances. I was especially impressed with the Blue Stars' meteoric ascent, Vanguard's untouchable musicality, and Crown's newfound domination. YCB peps should mos def check out Crown's arrangement featuring Sensemaya and Slalom. It was legenDAIRY. I planned on getting about 2.5 hours of sleep afterward, but SOME PEOPLE decided to come and harass me until it was time to pound down some Cinnamon Toast Crunch and evacuate. So, I pulled my third all-nighter in New Haven and slept through the entirety of my plane ride even though I <3 planes.

Expect this post to be updated throughout the weekend with pictures, etc - especially if my data acquisition goes well. w00t.

Finally, BHouse will start to significantly empty out in a week :( I hope that some of the maddness carries over into the school year (sorry, everyone else). The fruit flies can die, though. DIE!!!!

Paying It Forward

2009-08-03T21:46:00.000-07:00

I left the house this morning with a bag full of recyclable cans and bottles, with the intention of recycling them as soon as I found a bin. As I walked down Elm, I passed a man with a shopping cart full of the very same items. Mine were in a bag, so he couldn't see what they were and was paying little attention to me, but as we neared each other, I said to him, "You can have these cans and bottles." He nodded, I dropped the bag into his cart, and he replied, "Thank you." Then I continued to the library, and he continued to wherever he was going.

monkey fight!

2009-07-29T14:49:00.000-07:00

So, I woke up today with my throat burning and now I'm really really lethargic and sore everywhere...gah.

Anyway, there was a huge monkey fight at the lab today. Basically, all the monkeys ganged up on Auric (oldest monkey in the cage...also possibly the stupidest...) Anyway, his hand got cut by other monkeys scratching him, so he started dripping blood everywhere. btw, monkey blood looks like typical fake blood: really bright red and not all THAT viscous.

We had to get him into a squeeze cage so that the vets can knock him out (VALIUM!) and then stitch up his hand. It kept bleeding though, and all the monkeys in the cage recognize the vet, so the entire cage was going absolutely crazy. And that when he was waking up, he looked just like drunk. Kinda tragically funny. Anyway, during that time, it was like someone put multiple adrenaline shots in me because of all the monkeys screaming and blood, because I was hyperactive, and now I'm kinda feeling like Auric. I can't even sit up or sit without my head just swaying everywhere. Ugh.

Let me Make Sweet Love to You,

2009-07-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

babayyy.

HARRY POTTER!!!!!!

2009-07-23T18:34:00.001-07:00

We went to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince at midnight!! And it was great. Joe went all out.

Paul stocked up on the goods.

The team assembled.And Joe got caught on film.

Notes from the D.C. Underground

2009-07-23T16:40:00.000-07:00

So, sometimes I have neither the desire nor the time to post to the blog. These past two weeks have been those times. But, now I'm ready to blog about what the BHouse and I have been up to.

For the Fourth of July, Marcus, Jae, David, Taylor, and I went to Marcus' place.

The boys strike a pose.

We walked around the same part of the Mall over and over again. I passed this statue multiple times. Jae was only on it once.
Jae wanted to get as close as possible to this hunk of a man.

Loving all things free that can be found in D.C., we descended upon the zoo, where we saw the cutest thing ever.

Jae continues to get it on.

Oops, wrong picture. Let's try this again.

Awwww.... soooooo cute!

This is a very rare picture, where the panda eats a ball of energy!!!

After the zoo, we moved on to the Georgetown part of town, after stopping to see a bad-ass pacifist.

These sandals are made for walking,
and ...one of these days these sandals
are going to stand by side as you do
what ever it is you want.

And then we ran into something amazing! Some of the creatures from Jae's lab had escaped!

The next day, I went to the parade. It was the first time I had actually seen one of those huge floats you always see in the movies. And guess who it was.

No, not Jae again. It was Arthur!!!!

Unfortunately, this was no mere float. This fiendish creature was actually the cousin of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man! We thought all was well, until the fireworks...

I need say no more. We fled the spectacle and broke through the crowds to the metro, where we sped through the underground of Washington to safety.

P.S. For all you How I Met Your Mother fans, I licked the Capitol. And it tasted like freedom. And gridlock. Nom nom nom.

Six Flags

2009-07-20T20:04:00.000-07:00

If you know me, then you know I love roller coasters. I. really. really. love. roller. coasters. And having lived in New Jersey for like four years, I love Six Flags Great Adventure. And I'm pretty good at convincing people that they should go with me. Just like last deadweek, I convinced Chris, Elliot, Julia, and Ally to go, and we had a blast. I was so bummed that I couldn't go during this deadweek.

But, as some of us are sitting Criterion, waiting to see HP6, in our massive fatigue, Joe, Alan, Gonzo, and I spontaneously decided to go to Six Flags that Sunday (yesterday).

If you don't know this already, you should know that I'm a hardcore amusement park person. I get to the park at least an hour early so that we can get tickets without having to stand in a line, be one of the firsts to get through the security, and get on one of the most popular rides without having to wait in stupid lines. That is what we did.

So, we'd agreed to leave at 6, which meant 5 a.m. morning call for some of us. Joe, our masterful driver, after waking up at like 5:15, powered through CT, NY and onto New Jersey. With empty coke cans in our hands ($15 off during weekends!), we got to Six Flags Great Adventure around 9.

It was a beautiful sight. Anyway, we managed to get on the third Nitro car in the first row, screaming "legen-wait-for-it-dary" 230 feet above the ground. It was legen-wait for it-DARY.

Though, I must say, the best was El Toro. It was my first time riding it, and oh man, it was soo freakin' awesome. The first drop looks pretty much like a 90-degree incline (decline?), and the negative G from that first drop is simply impossible to describe in words...You simply cannot capture such amazingness properly in words.

Our last ride of the day was Nitro, one of my now two favorite rides in Six Flags. We made YPMB in American sign language for our on-ride photo, but Joe was too enthusiastic like a little freshman that he is (well, he's not a freshman anymore, a little sophomore) and failed to align his hand with ours. it was like... ypmB!

Anyhoo, so we left the park around 7 (basically spent 10 hours there), exhausted of course, but decided to go to Princeton for dinner. We went to Tiger Noodles, the best Chinese restaurant I've come across in the Western Hemisphere. Hell, no one can make General Tso's sauce like they do. Srsly. Ask Alan, Joe, or Gonzo. Even Gonzo, who was not a fan of the Chinese dinner idea at first, loved it. After that, we went to Thomas' Sweet for ice cream.

I'm sorry, but Ashley's got nothing on Thomas'.

Now the fun part begins.

We drove up the Turnpike to get onto G. Washington Bridge. We had a minor freak out that woke up everybody in the car because we stayed in a wrong lane that was for Lincoln tunnel instead of G. Washington Bridge. Unlike Joe the Chill, I freaked out. I hate hate hate going to the city in a car. Driving there is a freaking nightmare. But, with Joe's GPS, we managed to turn around and get back on our way toward G. Wash Bridge.

Normally, I'd avoid this route, but it was Sunday around midnight. No need to be worried about traffic on the bridge, right?

Wrong.

There were hordes of trucks and cars, trying to cross the bridge...and it took forever. By the time, we got back, it was around 2:15. Joe and I were pretty much effectively up for more than 20 hours.

I was so lethargic at work today, that my project head just sent me home, saying I look like I'm about to collapse. Joe apparently had a productive day, though. It must be the age difference. Then again, he began to go mad as we neared New Haven, terrorizing everybody in the car, especially Gonzo.

What an epic weekend. Oh yeah, and we're thinking about doing a road-trip to Cedar Point at some point. I'm serious. Whether Joe, Alan, or Gonzo were serious, I have no clue. They'd better be though.

Still, I love Six Flags. AAAHHHH Alright bed time, because I'm still reeling from all the exorbitant amount of adrenaline pumped through my body yesterday.

Oh yea, and of course, an obligatory rides-in-the-background picture. I really like this picture.

A Wenzel by any other name...

2009-07-16T21:46:00.000-07:00

One time, Antonella was making chicken cutlets. That time was tonight. Coincidentally, today is "Try-to-make-a-Wenzel-Thursday", so I had to seize this opportunity. I purchased some bread and of course some

and then I was ready to go. They dain't got no lettuce or tomaters at G-Heav, so I decided I would go with what I could get. Once the chicken was prepared, I put it in a bowl, and emptied half of the bottle of hot sauce in, and stirred it around, just like they do at A-Delt:

I deftly threw some cheese on my baguette and slid it in the toaster oven. Having witnessed the naissance of The Wenzel hundreds -- if not thousands -- of times, the process was practically second nature:

Unfortunately, it was granulated parmesean cheese, so it didn't melt on in proper provel fashion. Oh well. I slapped the chicken on, and hoped for the best -- it was time to feast....

Oops I forgot Mayo:

That's more like it. And feast, I did. It looks pretty damn legit, right? Overall reaction.... *drumroll* ... It tastes like a wenzel! The hotsauce brand was a little off, and the parmesean definitely changed the taste... and lettuce and tomato would have probably made it more authentic as well. Oh well. It was frikin awesome. Half way through the meal, I looked under the table and thought my eyes decieved me --Beneath the table was a bag of Lay's Potato chips! This must have been a sign from the Wenzel Gods! Everyone knows that the Alpha Delta Wenzel comes with a bag of potato chips. My wenzel was real, and my night was a success. And the sea rolled on as it had five-thousand years ago.

back in eastern time

2009-07-13T08:46:00.000-07:00

Well. It's been a busy July so far, having been to Mexico and Chicago in the last two weekends. It's the most time I've spent in Central time in a while, but now, I realized, I'll be in Eastern time continuously for probably 5 more months.
And maybe I'll even spend some time in BHouse! The last few weeks have meant that I've only spent a few hours a day awake and in BHouse. But now I am going to be starting to pack, and also spending my last full weekend in New Haven this weekend. (Though AJ is coming down, so not fully normal, I guess).
Yeah. Sorry this isn't super coherent. I'm not super coherent. I got back late last night and have had my brain frazzled by my superawesome and totally brain-challenging job.
<3

Miscellany!

2009-07-12T20:44:00.000-07:00

Hi readers! I am a bad blogger, as you all know. I blog only slightly more often than David, and, more often than not, I avoid Bhouse-specific antics and tend to write about whatever the fuck I want. So I'll keep it up! At least until people start throwing things at me.

I just spent a week in Texas! San Antonio is a wonderful place, where the temperature is always above 100, no significant rain has fallen since about 1996, and an army of deer have taken to hatching anti-human revolutionary plots in my front yard (but the fawns are so cute!). (One of these facts is true, guess which one!) I won't relate too much about San Antonio, except to mention an already-blogged-about-in-the-'09-blog delightful visit from Rita! (I have no pictures for you, because she took all the pictures since I always forget to bring my camera everywhere.) I may have dragged her around downtown San Antonio until she nearly got heatstroke. That makes me a bad person, I think? And the world should also know about the extraction of my wisdom teeth! That's right, there's a faux-Greco-Roman temple somewhere that can get new columns on the cheap, because these dental colossi can act as load-bearing pillars certifiable to between two and three metric tonnes. A hippopotamus somewhere with horrible oral hygiene can breathe a sigh of relief, for he can easily spruce up his decaying grill with gargantuan molars. What I'm saying is that I've already stolen four of the rocks from Stonehenge, and replaced them with my teeth; nobody'll ever notice the difference.

The corollary to this fact (the fact that my wisdom teeth were actually small planetoids in disguise) is that there is a staggering amount of empty space in my skull at the moment. You know how greasy, unlikeable men with scraggly beards sometimes store food for later in their facial hair? I could store a fourteen-course banquet in these. I'm half-expecting to bump into a confused hobbit on the street, trying to destroy his Ring of Power in one of the yawning abysses at the back of my jaw. I'm fortunate I got these removed in July, because if I'd done it in the fall I'd have to worry about bears taking up residence for winter hibernation (and I don't think grizzlies appreciate being flossed). One particularly insightful person even went so far as to compare the gaping holes to the Sarlacc, the immense spiny maw that Jabba tries to drop the heroes into in Return of the Jedi. Except just as the Sarlacc was defeated by Luke's Force powers, so too were my sockets defeated by the sprinkles on a donut, standing in as hapless Jedi prey.

The Pantry

2009-07-11T13:42:00.000-07:00

When people complain about Twitter, they often cite the fact that they don't really see the necessity of knowing what people are doing at all times. Those who really get the power of the medium, however, use Twitter not for posting "at the gym" and other schedule updates but instead for sharing funny and thoughtful insights that otherwise would pass and fade, never to be read or heard by anyone else. (I haven't gotten an account yet, but if I do, it will only be for the sort of witticisms that demand being spread to the masses.)

In some ways, I feel like the Twitter critics when it comes to this blog: who reads this, anyway? And why do they want to know what we're doing? For that reason, I never found the need to post about what we're up to, unless there were ever a really funny or amazing story to share. Even when those funny and amazing things have happened, two things have kept me from posting: others in the house have posted about them already, and in some situations, the stories are best kept private.

What's prompting me to post today is a curiosity about how much people care about our having fun. It's late afternoon, and it has already been a great day. On a day of firsts, I went to The Pantry for the first time. We all left stuffed, after each downing our own meals (I would highly recommend the salmon benedict) and splitting the pancake special of the day (cherry garcia). We came back to the house, where we realized that we all wanted to see Bruno. So off we went again, first stopping at Target to load up on movie candy.

The movie is as you would expect. There were times we were all laughing, times we were all shocked, and a few times when we were all mortified. Of course, they weren't mutually exclusive. It's not Borat, however: Bruno lacks the element of storytelling that made Borat what it was.

Brunch also provided a few interesting topics of conversation. Here are two good, but very different, conversation starters for your next brunch/dinner/date: 1) What probability would you assign to the likelihood that years from now, people will discover that atomic theory, as we understand it today, is wrong? 2) Under what circumstances is it acceptable or normal to use an aphrodisiac food?

We're planning a picnic for tonight, to be had as we watch the New Haven Symphony on The Green. What an ideal summer day!

Aditya

2009-07-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

Look! A puppy!

Jae is being lame

2009-07-09T19:39:00.000-07:00

I'm not technically in BHouse anymore, but I feel the need to comment on this recent increase in lameness (which I would like to point out directly correlates with my departure). If you haven't read Jae's post and the pacifist, alfalfa-munching cuddlefest Joe posted in his comments, go do that right now. I didn't know Care Bears were allowed to use Blogger.

"Health issues and gargantuan ethical problems"? What are you, gay? This is America, bitch. If your meal doesn't kill some corn-fed antiobiotic-sucking meatsack and doesn't cost enough ancillary resources to feed Ethiopia, you're fucking doing it wrong.

It's 2009, we live in the best country ever, we shoot shit, cut it up, and eat it, and then we go drink beer and watch pageants and vote and shoot Mexicans. Get with the program already.

Christ. Kids these days.

Back!

2009-07-07T21:16:00.000-07:00

I'm back from an awesome trip to Mexico! Since most of the house was gone all weekend it isn't in terrible shape, but it's been better. Oh well, I guess I have to do some more shopping and such.
Also, going back to work sucks after an awesome vacation.

Dear world, I'm turning to the dark side

2009-07-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

I have an announcement to make.

I am, as of today, a (pesco-)vegetarian...at least for the summer. (though I probably should finish all that marinated stuff in the freezer). Hopefully this public declaration will actually help me power through this...endeavor, if you will.

I used to say I'll never give up meat...

And yes, declaring on Facebook and Twitter was not enough.

Also, in other news, Marcus, David, Alan, and Taylor went to DC, stayed at the Parrish residence for a few nights, for the Fourth of July weekend. Happy belated birthday, Amurrika. Thanks for not deporting me yet.

An unspecified virus thing

2009-06-30T19:27:00.000-07:00

One of the joys of BHouse is constant exposure to communicable disease. Because of everything from moldy curtains to swarms of fruit flies to the entire third floor, the little Joes inside of me must perpetually toil to repel myriad invaders (some of my friends talk about white blood cells, but cells aren't in the Bible -- my geophysics research has convinced me of the merits of Young Earth Creationism). Despite the best efforts of my diminutive counterparts, I was mercilessly assaulted in my sleep after the midnight showing of Transformers 2.

Incidentally, in a fatigued delirium, I may have told some of you that it was a good movie. This is true in the sense that leprous rats are a tasty and nutritious afternoon snack. That is, unless you have a special fantasy about vapid dialogue and irresolvable combat scenes (or an exploited Megan Fox, I suppose), it would be better to go research medieval intergalactic communication techniques or something.

Anywho, for the last week, swallowing has been more painful than reading anything written by William Kristol (owie!). On Monday, I succumbed for the first time in my Yale career to the pains of illness and dragged myself to DUH. I walked out with a negative strep test, a pricked arm, a bottle of penicillin, and a pamphlet about mono. OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE! Using that excuse, I spent the rest of the day at home, perfecting my abilities to blend in with the perpetrators of the inevitable zombie apocalypse (muuugghhhh). This morning, though, I received word that my blood test was normal, and I'm probably suffering from, "an unspecified virus thing" and that the penicillin should provide, "some relief." So, that's why I'm taking antibiotics for a viral infection.

I'm feeling much better, and before the SummerBuds field trip to the New Haven library, I should be ready to BRING THE RAIN!

BHouse is going to be empty

2009-06-30T18:48:00.000-07:00

This weekend, every resident of BHouse is planning on being away. Personally, I think I win, since I'm going to Mexico! Hurray!
It's not bad timing, though, because we've recently discovered some unintentional guests: fruit flies. Tons of them. We're kind of hoping that we can starve them out by throwing everything vaguely edible out before leaving the place high and dry for 3 or 4 days.
Anyway, expect nothing more from me until sometime next week. Yeah!

We need to call animal control again

2009-06-29T19:21:00.000-07:00

So I have successfully identified one of the things Alan found. It's this thing.
Can you guess what it is? Here are some hints: it's about 2.5 meters tall, subsists mainly on hoarfrost lichen and various fungi, is endemic to the planet Hoth, and sounds kind of like AAAARUUUUUOROUURRGHAAAAAA!!!

That's right! It's MOTHERFUCKIN' TAUNTAUN GUTS!
Compare them. Closely. That's right -- they're identical.

Other fun Tauntaun facts: their thick layers of fat and fur allow them to survive plummeting night temperatures on Hoth and Coruscant's polar ice caps (where they have been exported by the Rebels for use as beasts of burden and -- fuck yes -- tourist attractions). God I wish I lived in Star Wars. Oh wait, I do! We have a Tauntaun in the motherfucking BHouse! WOOT!

Oh such wonders, oh such horrors.

2009-06-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

So, Saturday, it was CLEANING DAY!!!!!

We did the upstairs (Yeah we did). And, once again, the BHouse produced a wonderous assortments of terrors.

Wigs. What the hell, team. Wigs.
A nook of horror. We think that furry thing is dead.
Yes, that is a phallus. And a gun behind that. And a phallus in front of that. And a gun behind that. What?
You may not believe it, but that is Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys, together.

Oh, such wonders, oh such horrors.

Guests from Afar

2009-06-28T09:55:00.000-07:00

This weekend, we received many many visitors from afar. Aditya's friend Lawson visited for the night, and so did the recently-dead Rachel Homer. But we didn't get pictures of either of them.

But we also received visitors from Cold Spring Harbor, Julia and her friend Natalie!

Julia proceeded to make a series of faces at me.

She told us a story about she met Jim Watson...

... and how he touched her on the waist, creepily.

Her friend Natalie is her roommate, and will be a senior at Carnegie Mellon...

...and has adequately learned how to continue the tradition of her roommates...
... and terrorize her silly.
We had Mexican night. And then watched South Park. The next day, before they left, they brought us 50CENT DONUTS!!!!1!!!!!!

(So, the stories don't really go along with the pictures, but we do what we can do).

New Haven, I'm Yours

2009-06-26T22:03:00.000-07:00

So, New Haven gets a pretty bad rap. I mean, Chief Perrotti sends us emails on a regular basis about the dangers of the city. But, actually living here for the summer, I've tried to make an effort to get out, and actually see the city. So I started going on the Arts & Ideas bike tours, which is affiliated with Elm City Cycling. And it's been great. I have gotten to see parts of the city I would never see otherwise. This is a bridge with a Art Deco New Haven symbol!

Maybe if I were from New England I wouldn't
think twice about this picture, but I just really find this picturesque.

I'm going to go ahead and assume this is East Rock. Regardless, it's pretty.

New Haven has something no other city has: JJJ!!!

This is a pretty street, right off of Wooster Square. Yay New Haven.

It makes me think of the Decemberists song, "Los Angeles, I'm Yours." Only instead of Los Angeles, it's New Haven.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e41ygKJ3ABk

I am starting to really like this town.

Cat update

2009-06-25T15:20:00.001-07:00

I've named him "Pookie." **EDIT: In honor of Michael Jackson, his full name is "Pookie, king of pop."

Pooks is in pretty bad shape. His right front paw is completely lame, and he keeps it tucked up to his chest. This explains why he hasn't really moved from under the awning on the side of our house -- he isn't very mobile. He's pretty much been sleeping the days away, which sucks, because it rains a lot and is hot a lot.

I found a crappy white tupperware thing without a lid that we weren't using and filled it with water which I set out right in front of him. He wouldn't go near it while I was looking at him, so I left, but I peeked right before going in the house and he was drinking.

New Haven animal control is taking their sweet time. I called them at like noon today, and the dispatcher said they were out on another call.

**EDIT: Second cat update

Called Animal Control again today, and they finally dispatched an officer. He took forever to get here, so I befriended Leo, the nice old landlord of the house next door, who's been feeding the strays, including Pookie. When the officer got here, he gave up trying to catch Pooks almost immediately, and instead left a crate with Leo and me. Leo's going to try to lure him into the crate with food and then I'm going to call Animal Control and they can take him to the shelter.

This process is taking absolutely forever, and this is just one injured cat. There's four-five other strays, including two kittens, that are going to be way harder to catch.

Buy 5

2009-06-25T10:04:00.000-07:00

Aditya introduced me to engrish.com.

Anway, since I started living in BHouse and buying my own food, I started noticing buy 1 get 1 free, etc.

So, I thought this picture was hilarious. That is all. My laptop is still broken, as far as I know. Argh.

Aditya is a baller

2009-06-24T20:39:00.000-07:00

Aditya, oh Aditya.

Aditya likes milk. We have already spoken of this. But Aditya also likes Oreos. A lot. This is one night's work for Aditya. Man's going to kill himself.

Also, Aditya has this fear of the BHouse. He doesn't think we should anger the spirits that live in it. Like the ones behind this previously unopened door.

Aditya begged us not to, citing the angry spirits that would murder us in our sleep. But Katie is an Egyptologist, and I a man of science. So we pried that door open. We found a rotary saw. And a vacuum. And some screwdrivers. If one of us is found dead with a screwdriver in our backs, we'll know we have angered the spirits. Until then, I'm going to keep exploring... there's a stash of crap under the stairs that is begging to be rummaged through.

Enter Paul

2009-06-24T20:22:00.000-07:00

So, Tuesday night was my first full night back from Florida. I got ready for bed early, which was a tad unusual, because I was really tired, and figured I would read the rest of "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man" and go to sleep. But things got a little out of hand.

I would say it isn't what it looks like, but...

So then more of BHouse appeared, and things degenerated even further. Paul, Joe's suitemate who will take Aditya's room when he leaves but has made himself a nest in the upper "Den of Sin" common room in the meantime, arrived.

We were unsure about Paul. He was Joe's friend, so that was a good sign. But we were worried we would destroy him, break him, make him question everything he held dear. We weren't sure if he could handle the B in BHouse. So we baptized him by fire, with a simple test. We saw how he handled this:

One from each class. Porn Horse is in the foreground out of the picture.

He seemed unfazed. We told him to take a picture of us. He picked up the camera, aimed it, then paused... and bolted from the room. I thought he couldn't take it anymore, and had just fled. But then he came back:

He had a head lamp too! Yay Paul! He's one of us!

Gone Shopping... again

2009-06-24T18:41:00.001-07:00

BHouse just spent ~$300 on food. It'll hold us somewhere between a week and two. Yikes.

We should totally get a bar

2009-06-24T11:49:00.000-07:00

OK, much like the title of this post, this is a way more awesome idea than it sounds, and it already sounds pretty awesome -- ready?

I'm going to legally adopt the cats that live under BHouse. I'm still working on a game plan. One of them has kittens.

Bring the rain!

2009-06-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

Inspired by this list of situations in which shouting the phrase “bring the rain” is even less appropriate than it is in the new Transformer's movie, I’ve decided to create my own list.

While attempting to repair outdoor wiring.

While hydroplaning

While standing in a large open-air turkey pen.

While working with unstable sodium or perchlorate compounds in said large open-air turkey pen.

During the performance of a Native American tribal rain dance.

At an all-female pre-Labor Day white clothing parade.

Upon entering a rabies treatment clinic.

To break the tension at the starting line of the premier elderly mobility scooter racing competition at the National Buggy Championships in Holland.

Upon discovering levy inadequacies shortly before landfall of Hurricane Katrina.

BHouse plays Monopoly

2009-06-18T18:21:00.001-07:00

New York!

2009-06-17T21:46:00.001-07:00

Forgive me if this entry is not actually directly about BHouse and all our zany goings-on. (Though, for the record, I will maintain that in this household, my dishwashing and baking skills are well above average; my cookery may still be sub-par). But this weekend, BHouse will be almost totally empty, as we all fly to the four separate corners of the world. (or of New England, or Yankee country, or whatever region this is, I don't really know my northeast geography very well). As for me, I'm going to New York City! I'll be chilling with a whole bunch of free culture and free software people (read: techno-hippies) at NYU all weekend, living it up in the nighttime and having sober discussions about video file formats in the daytime (sweeeeeet!).

Anyway, there is a point to this story. And that point is: Bobby Gibbs is a wonderful, wonderful man. I don't think anyone will dispute this. And for the next three days, I get to be him.

Awesome.

Gerry (Gerard) Butler played my trombone

2009-06-17T20:26:00.001-07:00

Yes, you read that right. Therefore, I'm retiring my mouthpiece (now named Little Gerry).

So this is what happened. I'm standing to shoot another scene, and Gerry comes up and asks if he can try playing my trombone. I say sure, of course, and I end up teaching how to play the trombone. A lot of pictures were taken (though I can't release them since, as mentioned before, I signed away my rights to say anything about the movie).

People all said I "made out" with Gerry Butler. He also said he's going to take my spot in the band. He can take my spot any day.

IT WAS AWESOME

I AM AWESOME.

2009-06-16T22:11:00.000-07:00

Today I finished a gallon of milk I bought on Sunday. Sunday night. In less than 48 hours, I consumed twenty-four hundred calories worth of milk, containing over a hundred and twenty grams each of fat and protein. At this rate, I am going to have to start spending upwards of eleven dollars a week on milk alone.

And since my coach isn't around to beat me, instead of feeling like a fat mess, I feel incredibly accomplished.

Trombones reading this, quake in fear. I am going to single-handedly destroy you in JoL/JoD. You will cower for shade from the blinding light of my awesome as I lay waste to an entire gallon of milk before your eyes. And you shall beg for mercy.

And you shall have none.

Oh, that would explain it

2009-06-16T17:51:00.000-07:00

Today I solved a great mystery. Our dish soap was disappearing very rapidly-- and we do a lot of dishes, but not THAT many!
I managed to solve this mildly perplexing question by watching Aditya do dishes. He was liberally pouring moure than enough soap into each plate/cup/etc to wash a sinkful of dishes. So I suggested to him that he might be able to conserve a little if he used a sponge. So he tried it, and said "Wow! The technology! This is amazing."

I'm considering holding formal lessons for the boys in things like ironing, washing things, cooking, and paying bills.

Reporting from Brooklyn

2009-06-16T00:09:00.000-07:00

So, I'm the only BHouse member at the Jennifer Aniston movie shoot. As I've already signed away any possibility of talking about pretty much anything about the movie, I'll say as little as I can while trying not to leave you entirely too bored. I saw Gerard Butler like five feet away from him. It was awesome. also, unlike the other movie, we're totally going on the film. woot. also, some random old lady told me our band was the classiest and that she really likes our blazers. win.

A squirrel walks up to a tree...

2009-06-15T20:37:00.000-07:00

BHouse goes to Up. A play. Most of this happened.
Scene 1 (BHouse, 10:58am).
Aditya drinks two raw eggs, mumbling something about robots. Katie washes dishes, as she should. Oh wait, AJ is here! Katie whips AJ with barbed wire. Jae stares dreamily at his driver’s license photo. Ben stares at the broken router, checking his e-mail with his mind.
Alan: “Something is rotten in BHouse! Ah, that’s because Joe hasn’t gotten out of the shower and we were supposed to leave two minutes ago.”
Joe (from the shower): “Slanders! Perhaps my massive awesomeness is causing gravitational time dilation, but it’s clearly 10:58am. I will be ready at 11!”
David Katzman: “Joe, you seemed to be so down for Up...”
Universal groans. Joe exits the shower at 11:03am
Scene 2 (290 State Street, 11:07am)
David: “Here’s your garage, Joe. We’ll save some seats for you at the movie, because we’ll arrive on time.” David smiles characteristically, winks, and drives off.
Joe (oblivious): “Thanks!”
Joe walks towards the garage, notices the unexpectedly locked gate, lets off a minute long tirade of expletives.
Homeless man: “Why don’t you just jog around the block and find a nice family to let you in the back door?”
Joe: “Great idea, Mr. Disadvantaged! Sometimes going in the back door is a great idea!”
Joe sprints around the block, ambushes a family.
Joe: “Citizen! Do you have access to the parking garage?”
Frazzled mother: “Access? Yeah, we be goin’ to the parking garage…”
Joe picks up the car and zooms off, running over the homeless man as he exits the garage.
Scene 3 (BHouse, 11:17am)
Joe squeals into BHouse parking, his flashy 4-way flashers flashing. Alan’s in the front, Katie, AJ, and Aditya are in the back.
Joe: “Seatbelt up.”
The Awesomemobile peels off, heading down Elm. Closer to I-91, a cyclist flips off a cop. Gunshots.
Awesomemobile is speechless. Dead cat does not approve. Joe careens madly onto the highway.
Joe (going >80, out of control): “Hey, let’s play the guess how fast I’m going game…”
Aditya ejects.
AJ: “Joe! ARE YOU ON CRACK? That car is actually going the speed limit!”
Joe freaks out, eventually calming down.
Joe: “Don’t worry, it’s not road rage until I pull out the 9mm in the glove compartment.”
Screaming in the back seat. Grins in the front. Alan checks the glove compartment, slamming it shut quickly. One grin remains.
Alan: “Look, a shopping center, we must be getting close.”
Joe: “OOH! Capitalism!”
Scene 4 (Movie Theater, 11:18am)
Joe: “Hey! We’re on time!”
Katie, AJ, and Alan run screaming out of the car. Aditya’s escape capsule lands in the lawn. Joe screams something obscene, provoking weird looks from a nearby family. Joe parks and jogs into the theater. The movie begins as our heroes take their seats.
Doug (the dog): “So, a squirrel walks up to a tree. He says, ‘I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead.’ It is a funny joke because the squirrel gets dead.”
Laughter heals all wounds.

Edit: Yes yes, this all happened in the morning (Thanks, Thanh!).

BHouse

2009-06-15T17:01:00.000-07:00

BHouse. It's not a place. It's a state of mind.

A place of wonders. A place of terrors. A place where there are doors everywhere that lead no where... where the steps are not for the weak of knee. Where the locals climb to the top of telephone poles to disconnect our internet...

But it's really not that bad. That centipede didn't know what it was getting itself into. Neither did Joe when he put a clove of garlic on each piece of garlic bread. That motorcycle gang did know what they were getting themselves into. All up into our ears all night long. Shiiiiiiiiiit.

Aditya, I suspect, thought he knew what he was getting himself into: I will leave you to be the judge of that.What is this? In Aditya's defense, David seemed to think it was what Aditya thought it was.

Despite perhaps the lackluster delivery of Aditya's culinary genius, he does work hard for the money.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1hBfiNqh90

Ok. So the movie's sideways. What of it, I ask? I haven't been the same since I found that totem. That little figurine of a monkey. It was under the desk in my room. It was shiny. I picked it up. Examined it closely. I felt its power over me. Possessed, I opened its mouth.

AND IT BELCHED FIRE AT ME!!!!! The previous occupants of this house were insane!!1!

I don't have much time left. Even now I hear the monkey calling to me...

Yes Joe, I'm coming to bed.

The internets are down

2009-06-15T10:03:00.001-07:00

BHouse was without internet for the last several days. Here is a list of things I (and the house) did to stay entertained:

1) Watched Up, The Boondock Saints, and There Will Be Blood
2) Mocked Alan's meager cooking abilities
3) Undertook a two-day survey of nearby cafes looking for the best work environment
4) Bought Oatmeal Cream Pies from Shaw's
5) Watched Golden Eye while making excessive sexual innuendo, on top of the already-excessive innuendo in the movie
6) Ate Oatmeal Cream Pies from Shaw's
7) Blew up a bunch of balloons
8) Napped
9) Popped a bunch of balloons
10) Blew up some more balloons
11) Watched Golden Eye again
12) Stuck balloons in the ceiling

After taking two trips to the Hamden DMV...

2009-06-12T16:34:00.000-07:00

I'm a CT driver! (and no longer an expired, under-21, NJ driver).

I didn't need to take any tests, except for the vision exam, and the lady was nice enough to let me take a second picture. Well, the first time, I wasn't ready, so I made one of those awkward should-I-smile-or-not face, so she kinda guffawed (not really, more like hah, but I just wanted to use that word) and said

"Okay, let's do that again."

So, the second picture was a success (at least for a driver's license picture). No joke.

2009-06-12T12:22:00.000-07:00

So it turns out there is such a thing as too much peanut butter. Huh.

Aw

2009-06-12T05:27:00.000-07:00

Taylor was sure there were no pictures of her with Alan, and they wouldn't stop being so damn cute until I took the picture. So there you have it.

Bring Your Own...Bag!

2009-06-10T20:31:00.000-07:00

So, I felt all reminiscent and found myself wanting to go to China, so I searched for C-pop songs. One of the popular ones in Taiwan/Hong Kong is apparently, this song called BYOB. I'm like, do they know what that means?

It turns out, they mean it "bring your own bag," as part of a pro-environment campaign (I think...)

This probably should be the BHouse motto. We go to Shaw's and Costco often enough that we should BYOB.

**EDIT: In the last sentence, would it technically be "we should BOOB," since we would be bringing OUR own bag?

In my defense

2009-06-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

Concerning the photographs and video Alan will likely soon post of me, I would just like to say the following:

a) I am a brilliant chef. The word "chef" grovels tremulously at the very thought of being used to describe my prowess. Genius, however, is rarely recognized in its own time. Only a true philistine would make the claim that the steaming slices of deliciousness I created were "unidentifiable."
b) Spitters are quitters, it wasn't that gross, and I am still owed my dollar.

Fun times in BHouse

2009-06-07T20:18:00.000-07:00

The house and friends watch "How I Met Your Mother."

And BHouse makes dinner-- quite familial!

Showers!

2009-06-07T20:06:00.000-07:00

This weekend included marvelous, triumphant success and devastating, heartbreaking failures. Greatest victory: David and I bought a new shower curtain! For reference:

Now we have a clean and not-terrifying curtain. On the other hand, the Drano I bought to clear the sink in our downstairs bathroom is currently totally getting its ass kicked. We cannot wash our hands, but we can shower! Oh, can we ever shower.

EDIT: The Drano totally came through, our sink is no longer clogged. And the strawberry bread I baked turned out delicious. Three-win weekend. Sweet.

Watch -- she's gonna seize.

2009-06-06T12:06:00.000-07:00

Is anyone watching this new steaming pile of a medical show, "Royal Pains"? I have no idea what went on during the pitch meeting for this show.

"Idea: rebel doctor leaves the hospital where he works and where they have, you know, sanitized equipment and other assorted nonsense, and instead runs around butchering people with questionable legality. We'll call him 'the Robin Hood of medicine.' How awesome is that?"

". . ."

"I know, right? So awesome. You know, we should totally get the team from 'Melrose Place' back together to write this. I'll buy the pizza, you can play guitar -- it'll be just like old times. We'll write earth-shattering dialogue. One of the female love interests can refer to him as 'Doctor Dangerous.' This is gonna rock. You know what, I'm gonna call Brad. Brad would totally love this. This is Brad's thing."

I'm 90% sure the title for this show comes from the way it makes people feel inside their brains. I swear to god I was more cognitively engaged when we played "Star Trek: TNG, the drinking game" (drink for "make it so," any mention of warp >4, etc.). In case you're wondering, the title for this blog post refers to one of many times last night when, while watching House, Erin (who spent the night) dazzled us by perfectly predicting some highly-dramatic plot twist.

Anyways, this morning "Royal Pains" was on again. Not having had my morning coffee I was surprisingly in a pretty good state to tolerate the show. That is, at least until 'the MacGyver of medicine' (yes, that's what they call him, and yes, it's alliteration and a reference to a cheesey '80s Canadian action series at the same time) stumbled across his first victim -- an unresponsive hemophiliac with intrathoracic bleeding. In case you guys ever encounter an unresponsive hemophiliac with intrathoracic bleeding, I'm not positive what you should do, but here's what you shouldn't do: dip a knife in vodka, cut open this poor child's pericardium (the sac-thing around your heart and great vessels), then yell something about clotting at the his screaming significant-other, before duct-taping a ziploc bag over the opening.

WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO?

The doctor will see you now.

Also, because I know she's going to post it to the comments, no, Jackie, sternum rubs were not featured.

Working

2009-06-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

There's been a lot said about our house, which is understandable. There's a lot to say about it. But I thought I'd also post some of my favorite books that I've managed to photograph so far.
I'm working in the catalog department of SML this summer-- it involves a lot of scanning of books and searching of databases. Yesterday, I learned a lot about Malagasy, the language of Madagascar, and about the island itself. The gentleman who works behind me catalogs African language books, and I think he was very happy to have someone interested in what he does.
Anyway here are some of the books I've photographed recently. Expect more over the course of the summer.

Found in BHouse #1: a marijuana diary

2009-06-05T18:10:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of things lying around in the lovely BHouse left by previous residents, and found on day 1, is this: a marijuana diary.

=========================================

The Marijuana Diaries
09.26.2007

Purchased an eighth from Felix for $40. Let's see how long this lasts!

Bowl #1 (5:00 p.m.), circumstances: snagged Valerie on CC -- smoked & dashed
Bowl #2 (5:15 p.m.), circumstances, Valerie left: smoking a personal bowl, just for shits.

Lovestoned (I think she knew) -- J. Timberlake, might be the most perfect song to get stoned to. I enjoy it immensely.

Thank God it's still sunny outside. I will wear sunglasses as long as possible -- until the sun sulks beneath the ridge of East Rock.

Bowl #3 (6:00 p.m.), Kevin stopped by. Always a reason!
#4 (9:00 p.m.), Btw Gossip Girl & ANTM w/ Audrey & Maggie
#5 (10:00 p.m.), w/ Joe B. & Marilee
#6 (12:00 a.m.), w/ Alex G, rolled a beautiful jay.
#7 (2:04 a.m.), w/ Alex G, bowl
#8-10 (5:00 p.m.), Valerie
#11-12 (7:00 p.m.), Rachel
#13 (9:00 p.m.), Rachel & Alex
#14-15 (11:00 p.m.): Josh & Stacy
#16 (12:55 a.m.): Alex
#17 (1:15 a.m.): Katharine

[some random stuff scribbled over)

Hi. Thank you for spelling my name correctly. I love you and we should hang out. LOVE, Katharine -- so sick

Moo juice

2009-06-05T10:11:00.000-07:00

We are tearing through milk at an alarming rate on the BHouse front. Even after Jae and I realized we drink more milk than everyone else combined and switched to personal supplies, the rest of the crew has worked down to their last gallon. In other news, I recently calculated that in a given summer I drink nearly one-and-a-half times my own weight in milk.

Additionally, our fridge is rather full, so we've had to start moving some food (and my personal milk) over to Katzman's epic "fridge." I don't even want to think how many imperial credits it must have cost David to buy the giant vat Jabba used to freeze Han, but I do know it a) preserves the living shit out of sausages and b) turns milk kind of slushy.

I, Lando Calrissian, mourn my frozen milk.

After Katie turned the mysterious device down to 1/4 of its original power, it seems to now be operating at least slightly above the freezing point of most things, although it's still noticeably colder than our other fridge.

Monkeys!!!1!!!!ONE!!1!1!!!

2009-06-05T07:32:00.001-07:00

So, this summer I'm working in Laurie Santos' monkey lab, so I get to play with capuchins all summer. Awesome. Anyway, today was awesome because we caught Felix, our alpha-male monkey, which is usually..well...impossible. Also, we also realized Jill, one of our female monkeys and former alpha-female (named after Jill Masterson in Goldfinger), is really into...well...me. In our experiment, we have the monkey trade between two experimenters, and the other one has been a girl. And we noticed Jill trades with much more (in our last session, she traded with me 11 times out of 12)...hah. As Nick said, I may be monkeys' ladies man.

BHouse . . . How do I begin to explain BHouse?

2009-06-04T08:46:00.000-07:00

BHouse is flawless. I hear its roof is insured for $10,000. I hear it does car commercials -- in Japan. Its favorite movie is Varsity Blues. One time, it met Jon Stamos on a plane. And he said it was cozy.

One time, BHouse punched me in the face.

It was awesome.

(we watched Mean Girls last night).

What I Love about BHouse #1

2009-06-04T07:17:00.001-07:00

The soothing therapeutic massage, courtesy of my mattress, as the washer on the same floor violently shakes to squeeze out the water from the clothes.

No whammies!

2009-06-03T07:51:00.000-07:00

Hey kiddies, it's time to play the hottest new game show -- What's the Most Sketchtastic Thing in Aditya's Room?

Is it a) the dead flowers stuck in the ceiling?
Or perhaps it's b) the pink bunny pez dispenser.
Maybe c) the little green pills all over my floor?
Gee, Charlie Brown, not only did you get d) a shitty tree for Christmas, you also decorated it with little girls' socks.
Maybe we can throw it away in the e) fucking hole in the floor.
Of course, let's not forget the frightening menagerie of disturbing animalia, including f) what I'm pretty sure is a dead cat that's been poorly stuffed and still has its original eyes:
And his good buddy, SARS dog:
Yes, that is a surgical facemask. On a stuffed dog. I'm really glad nobody was there to see me jump when I picked him up. "Awww, a stuffed do-OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TUBERCULOSIS."

Lock your answers in now, viewers. You have thirty seconds. *Cue theme music*

Oh wait -- YOU ALL WIN BECAUSE YOU NEVER HAVE TO ENCOUNTER THAT HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE CAT.

Bean me!

2009-06-02T21:17:00.000-07:00

If you see a 10 for $10 sale on refried beans in Shaw's, what is the only logical thing to do? EXACTLY! After dinner tonight, I only have 9 cans left. Yum. Food in the bhouse is pretty epic, especially the overabundance of jalapenos (ok, and beans, don't sass).

This blog's ginormous fan base has probably been inundated with descriptions of what a hot, throbbing mess this apartment was when we arrived, but I think the shower curtain merits it's own description.

Essentially, something died in the bhouse bathroom (bbathroom?) and splattered its scarlet bodily fluids all over the curtain. Either the people living here executed someone with a rusty spoon, or a moose was drinking from the toilet and Sarah Palin shot it with a bazooka through the window from a helicopter. The other side of the curtain is conventional black mold. I can't wait to take a shower tomorrow morning.

Also, many Members Of... started volunteering at Summer Buds today. Yay reading! We get to impress little kids with our maturity and erudition. In the parlance of our generation, w00t.

Laundry! Lab! LIBERTY!

EDITS: Mormon Jesus does not look with favor upon my spelling abilities...

Bhouse!

2009-06-02T19:16:00.000-07:00

I am living in the house now (as of yesterday). I arrived after most of the drama; it is telling that my first thought was "Wow, this place is a shithole," AFTER the cleaning service had come. But we discovered a mighty vacuum, and several hours later I believe the bag of popcorn kernels that were firmly embedded in the carpet of my room (last to arrive, woo!) is mostly gone. I think I will make it my project to vacuum one room per day (except for today, because I went to the store instead). That way, in approximately infinitely many days, the house will be clean. But the company is good, and the vacuum is good, and so it is bhouse! Today we made an expedition to Vanderbilt to retrieve my furniture from Jackie's room, so we are one futon and one coffee table richer. So now we have comfortable places to sit and a table to use. Success! Also, I'm the only one in the house who can use the internet at the moment; probably this is connected to the fact that nobody has paid for any internet access, and also that I have magic powers.

I don't actually have anything particularly interesting to say. Blog!

I can taste victory

2009-06-02T08:07:00.001-07:00

And it tastes good. The last 36 hours have been spent locked in battle with the disaster that is BHouse '09. I arrived Sunday night full of optimism, only to find that the incumbent occupants had decided that they were going to spend the last eight hours of their lease lounging in their own filth and smoking inside the house. Instead of, you know, leaving. Closer inspection only depressed me all the more. The third floor was unnavigable ("unnavigable" is now a word). On the second floor things I found included a "marijuana diary" (which will get its own entry soon), a "stool" which I discovered was actually a chair with the back snapped off, and a chair that had swollen with disease to the point where it would no longer get through the door. Outside was no better -- Katie and I affectionately dubbed the trashdump behind our cozy little home the "pile of shit."

That night I slept alone in the BHouse, a harrowing experience. Had Katie been there, I would have laughed at the possibility of burglars or pickpockets or any of New Haven's criminal horrors getting past her fearsome guard, but as it stood I wasn't sure what to fear more: death by shanking or slow asphyxiation amid the accumulated filth of my room.

**EDIT: It turns out Katie was there after all, making the blockade of broken furniture I constructed in front of my door entirely unnecessary. I find it rather telling that I was completely unaware of the other living person sleeping just feet from me amid the ricockulous amount of clutter and debatably-sentient mold.

The next day, we struck back. After a morning of epic efforts by David and Mai, the "pile of shit" had grown to about three times my size, and the second floor was beginning to resemble something I might allow a pig to live in. Because the outgoing subletters were supposed to have cleaned the place, they reimbursed us to have a cleaning service come. A few hours of hard work by a wonderful woman from "Magic Mop," and I discovered that the sketchy smelly little rooms on the second floor were in fact a cozy kitchen and a full bathroom. Things were looking up for our intrepid band.

A few more hours of (highly satisfying and stress relieving) reorganizing (read: breaking and throwing away the furniture and possessions of our predecessors) and the "pile of shit" was about the size of a schoolbus -- albeit the small kind they use for special children -- and the house was starting to feel a lot more welcoming. We made an epic Shaw's run, and den-mother Katie and fun-uncle David made a salad and warmed up some frozen pizza. Cleaning up was a team effort. I was sorely tempted to break into song, but I haven't seen "Enchanted" in a couple of months and couldn't remember the words.

Next, we split up and assaulted our rooms with an array of vacuums and makeshift cleaning devices (I couldn't find a broom so I used a napkin to brush the cigarette butts and dust bunnies into a pan). We were slowly but steadily closing in on victory when Katie and Ben realized that vacuum cleaners could double as devices to clean any remotely flat surface. Walls, mantles, desks, chairs, and mattresses quickly succumbed to our furious Shop-Vac-ing ("Shop-Vac" is now a verb). We ended the night with the "pile of shit" (after I tossed several garbage bags of random trinkets found all over the third floor) threatening to swallow the side of the house, and slept, smiles on all our faces.

Finally!

2009-05-31T16:48:00.000-07:00

We finally get to move into the house tonight! Maybe we'll even spend the night? Jae and AJ and I were camped out in a sketch-tastic apartment on Linwood for the week, and I cannot wait to get well and truly settled into the house (sketchy as it is).

I started work last Wednesday, and my job is, as promised, not very exciting. But it pays well, and I can pick my hours with some flexibility. So it's not bad. I'm excited for things like the festival of Arts and Ideas, farmers markets, and other local events.

BHouse 2009

2009-05-03T16:04:00.001-07:00

Since last summer's blog was so wildly entertaining, BHouse, the 2009 edition, decided to make one too. It's a new house, a new cast of characters and a new summer, with (probably) all new adventures!