I AM AWESOME.

Today I finished a gallon of milk I bought on Sunday. Sunday night. In less than 48 hours, I consumed twenty-four hundred calories worth of milk, containing over a hundred and twenty grams each of fat and protein. At this rate, I am going to have to start spending upwards of eleven dollars a week on milk alone.

And since my coach isn't around to beat me, instead of feeling like a fat mess, I feel incredibly accomplished.

Trombones reading this, quake in fear. I am going to single-handedly destroy you in JoL/JoD. You will cower for shade from the blinding light of my awesome as I lay waste to an entire gallon of milk before your eyes. And you shall beg for mercy.

And you shall have none.